Positive Things to Do

Being made redundant has a lot of unpleasant mental and physical side effects - and over the last few months Emily and I have had plenty of opportunity to listen to people, learn how redundancy has effected them, and try to come up with some workable solutions.

Over a period, we developed a system of sorts to deal with the most common problems - loss of confidence; lack of motivation; negative thoughts and attitudes; feelings of worthlessness; vague (and usually entirely stress-related) symptoms of malaise; irrational feelings of guilt, and the fear that people experience when they believe that they've lost control of their lives and the secure future they've worked and planned for. It isn't a perfect system, but - as systems go, and given the evironment we're all having to work with - it isn't bad.

Over past posts we've talked about the system briefly, explained some of the basic causes of the problems people experience when they suddenly find themselves out of work, and given suggestions as what can be done to make those problems go away - or at least become molehills rather than mountains.

If you haven't read those posts, then the place to start is (obviously!) at the beginning, but the most useful one to read (or re-read) at the moment is 'Attitude Matters' because it explains why imposing a structure on your life makes it easier to stay motivated and positive and focused, and how important it is to think of yourself as 'self-employed' rather than 'unemployed' and to try to continue to live your life much as you used to, or as as most other people do - working from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.

That section is particularly important at the moment, because Geoffrey is going to be taking over from us for a while very shortly, and he's going to be suggesting that you do quite a lot of work. Sticking to a standard working week, and accepting that being out of work involves thinking and acting like a self-employed person and working hard to make things happen will help you to get the best out of what Geoffrey has to say - and to stick to the system if things don't happen as quickly as you hoped they would.

Before I go away, there are a couple things that I'd like you to think about - and preferably do! - before Geoffrey starts filling your life with places to go, things to read, letters to write, and people to speak to:

Clean and organise your workspace, and either put away everything that relates to your old job, or get rid of it altogether. It isn't useful or particularly healthy to have things around your workspace that remind you of old job. The past is gone, and thinking about it won't change it. Focus on the future and dump the past in the bin. Keeping the detritus of the past hanging around where you can see or fall over it only encourages brooding and bitterness, and clouds the future. Your workspace is where you are going to work to make a future. Cleaning it up will help you to see it as a positive space that will help you achieve your goals.

Think about where in your day you can fit in two vital activities - exercise and positive relaxation. Emily will be talking tomorrow why you need to fit those things in, and what you can expect to get out of them.

Begin to use 'positive thinking' - and please don't tell me it went out with the ark. It didn't. It just got re-labelled and reincarnated as various new, fashionable (and very expensive!) therapautic systems. You don't need new, fashionable or expensive. You can DIY with something tried, trusted and free. Here's how:

Positive affirmations can take several forms, but right now you should concentrate on the on the three types of ‘I’ statement that are statements of self-belief:

• ‘I am’ statements are statements of who you are; positive affirmations of real traits or abilities that exist in you. For example: I am competent, I am strong, I am intelligent, I am talented, I am energetic, I am a good person, I am caring.


• I can’ statements are statements of your belief in your potential to change, grow and help yourself. For example: I can gain self-confidence, I can be strong, I can be assertive, I can be positive, I can change, I can heal, I can be a problem solver.


• 'I will’ statements are statements of positive change - ‘success prophesies’ or positive affirmations of things you want to achieve. For example: I will smile more today, I will take care of me today, I will feel good about me today, I will like myself better each day, I will take on only what I can handle today.

Choose a statement for yourself - 'I will succeed' would be a good place to start - and work with it for at least a week. Make it your first thought when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you think before you go to sleep. Think of it when you sit down to eat, when you take a shower, when you go for a walk, and when you sit down to relax. Repeat it as often as possible during the day. When you're done with that statement start on another one that's relevant to what you want to achieve at the time.

Don't think of positive thinking as being 'silly' or a waste of time. It works - and if you work with it, it will work for you.
Bill - http://www.therapypartnership.com/